Written by, on Facebook, Me & You @meandyoubyjenni to support the Greater Shantallow Talking To Our Babies, Greater Shantallow Area Partnership. Tel; 028 71358787 / Facebook; Talking To Our Babies / www.shantallow.net
I was chatting with my niece and talking about last weeks article which was all about congratulations and the great things about being pregnant.
She said it made her smile and laugh but also that throughout her pregnancy she went from total joy to worry, worries about everything, all in the space of one day or even over a few minutes!
So this week I thought I’d write a little bit about some of the worries you may have, to try to help you worry less…
I think the main one is to stop worrying, it isn’t good for you, isn’t good for baby! Try to find a solution to that worry, find a way to ‘solve it’ and then ‘stop’ - think I’ve dealt with that so it’s a worry no more!
Baby development, of course you’ll be thinking every day how’s my baby growing, is she or he okay.
The best advice here is go for your scans, look at your scan photo for reassurance, have extra scans if they make you feel reassured, talk to your midwife and follow her advice about diet, exercise, sleep etc AND relax!
Giving birth - well baby is going to come out regardless of whether you worry so stop! You can though, plan what type of birth you would like, what pain relief you would like, what music you would like to listen to etc.
But do also remember that he or she may decide to come early, that you can change your mind about pain relief and that as long as she or he arrives safely and you are both well that’s all that matters.
Home or hospital - my niece wanted a water birth at home, till we found out about all the fuss with hose pipes, tap attachments, emptying the pool etc etc - so think carefully about what is best for you, your home, and your purse (the water birth including all the extra’s was expensive!)
Think, decide, be willing to change your mind if baby or you needs to and stop worrying, after all in the grand scheme of things as long as she or her arrives safely does it really matter!
Germs, we’ve all had a really worrying year with the corona virus and it has made us all a bit overly conscious about germs. So being pregnant can amplify this worry, but remember Mums have been pregnant for years, baby is protected in you and as long as your home is clean enough that’s all that matters.
This means you do not have to clean everywhere every day! If you can, try to feed baby yourself at least for the first few days, even if you express into a bottle, as this will help her immunity too.
One of the biggest worries my niece had was who to have with her when it was time for baby to arrive. Of course she wanted baby’s dad there but then both their Mums, her Nan, her two Sisters and her Step Mum also wanted to be there, and all of them were asking consistently, giving so many reasons about why it should be them.
I know my niece was completely stressed about this, I did feel like saying forget them just have me but of course I didn’t! I just said, just have Dad, tell everyone that this is what you want, just say no but thank you.
But if the time comes and you feel like you need one of them, for whatever reason decide then and there, not now, not today - but don’t tell them this otherwise it’s back to the me, me me, me please!
Telling your other child, don’t tell him or her too soon otherwise you will be tormented for nine months! Do explain that baby won’t be able to play - new siblings think ‘yes someone to play with’ and can be so disappointed when they realise baby can’t!
Feeding, there is a lot of pressure on new Mum’s to breast feed, but less information that says it’s okay if you can’t, if it hurts too much, that you can’t because of the mediation you are taking, if you aren’t producing enough milk etc. So from me, who experienced all this pressure and knows how harder it made it, if you can’t don’t worry, just remember formula was designed for babies, enjoy feeding time, the snuggled up together, the closeness, after all that’s what matters the most!
The dog, the cat … of course you can’t get rid of Rover the dog, or Whiskers the cat, but you can adapt your home to help them prepare. Maybe they won’t be allowed on the couch or in the bedroom any more, maybe Rover will have to have two short walks a day instead of one long one, maybe you will buy a cat net for the pram or Moses basket, maybe you will buy a few new special toys for Rover for when you bring baby home.
Just remember Rover and Whiskers will be curious, don’t leave them alone together for a while, don’t ignore them or this may cause jealousy after all before baby came did you not treat them like your baby!
And remember millions of homes have babies and pets so providing you introduce them carefully and still give them lots of love there is no reason that won’t be your home either!
Worrying too much … yes you are so stop!
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