Derry woman uses the power of poetry to help her cope with the death of her beloved husband

A Derry woman who lost her husband to cancer has shared a collection of poems she has written about her loss.

Margaret Rowlandson's husband, Paul, passed away in the Foyle Hospice in 2015 aged 67, one year after he was diagnosed with liver cancer.

Margaret hopes her poems will help others who are going through a bereavement.

Paul's illness progressed very quickly, which made his death all the more difficult for Margaret and her daughters, Caroline Anderson and Katherine Rowlandson, to come to terms with.

After undergoing chemo and surgery, Paul's cancer returned and the family were told that there was nothing more doctors could do.

The former Business Administration lecturer at Ulster University Magee, was looked after as a day patient at the Foyle Hospice in the final weeks of his life.

"I can't speak highly enough of them," said Margaret.

"It was so helpful to have a doctor and nurse there that you could go to if something was wrong, instead of having to phone out-of-hours and explain his condition to three different people before you got to speak to a doctor.

"Every time you have to explain what is wrong to someone it just crystallises it for you.

"You didn't have to worry about the symptoms and Paul became more relaxed in a way because he felt he wasn't placing a burden on me."

Paul passed away at the Foyle Hospice on Friday October 30, 2015.

"It was quite hard to realise what was happening because it was so sudden," said Margaret.

"And when it did our family had to get used to being a tripod rather than a four legged stool, but we were able to help each other.

"In some ways it was a blessing that it happened the way it did because he was spared the indignity of a long illness."

Following Paul's death, Margaret, who is a former nurse at Gransha Hospital, found that writing gave her an outlet for her grief.

"I've always liked poetry but I never did anything properly with it. It almost just popped into my head and I found it very helpful.

"I wrote them to help myself get through a very difficult time and recently I began to think that if they helped me they may help other people. And if they do help someone then something positive will have come out of this."

In the years after Paul's death, Margaret got great comfort from attending a local widows support group.

"I found it very helpful. Most of them were even older than me and I found it inspiring that they had come through it and they were able to live their lives.

"My grief is less raw now, but you just never quite know when it is going to come like a bolt from the blue and make you sad. But I have so many happy memories of Paul too that it's a mixture.

"I think grief is something people don't want to talk about or think about but it's something we will all face. If you can prepare for it beforehand the easier it will be."

Compassionate Communities, which helps people to maintain social connections, has published Margaret's collection of poems, 'Life After Death', on its website and their Facebook page.