'You tell yourself that what's happened has happened and you can't change it'

Louise James admits that 10 years on from the Buncrana Pier Tragedy, where she lost five family members, she exists for the sole survivor that fateful day, her daughter Rioghnach.

Louise, from Derry, recalled the events of March 20, 2016, and her plans to assist those who helped out that day.

The accident occurred when a car carrying six people slid on algae on the Buncrana pier and slipped into Lough Swilly. Louise was in England at the time, making her way home from a hen party.

The victims were Sean McGrotty (49), her partner; Mark (12) and Evan (8), her sons; Ruth Daniels (59), her mother and Jodie Lee Daniels (14), her sister.

The only survivor was Louise's four-month-old daughter, Rioghnach-Ann, who was handed through the car window by her father to a rescuer, Davitt Walsh from Kerrykeel.

Speaking to Tommy Tiernan on The Tommy Tiernan Show on RTÉ One, Louise gave a heartfelt recollection, where you could hear a pin drop in the audience, with tears and giggles as her bravery and spirit shone through.

The improvised chat show took place with neither the host nor the studio audience knowing the identity of the guests in advance, in her first interview since the tragedy.

Louise recalled how she phoned Sean and told him she wanted to come home from the hen party but was told to enjoy herself on the last day, as the family at home went for dinner, to the park and then to see the sunset in Buncrana.

”I had a feeling that something was wrong,” Louise said. “Later on that evening, I had phoned Jodie to tell her that my flight had been delayed for an hour. They had just gone for dinner and I chatted with the boys.

“Evan said: ‘I just can't wait to get you home. I just want to give you a hug.’ He loved his hugs. Jodie started laughing. And she said: ‘he's just telling me how much they love you and can't wait for you to come home.’ And I hung up the phone. I told her to look after him.”

Louise said she tried to call back from the airport but there was no phone connection, so she spoke to her brother instead. He told her there had been an accident in Buncrana, but it appeared to involve a car and men, whilst her family had a jeep.

“As the plane was coming onto the land, I looked across,” Louise added. “A girl had turned on her phone. It just came up: ‘Black SUV had gone on the pier’. I just remember running off that plane.”

As Louise turned her phone back on, her brother called again and learned of the terrible news. Five of the six hadn't made it and Rioghnach, he added, was in hospital.

“My mum always used to say if I die, I'll show you a sign’," Louise said. "I was like: ‘What's your sign?’. She'd go: ‘I love elephants. So my sign will be an elephant. If I ever die and you see an elephant, you know it's me.’

“I'd gone and the nurse said: ‘I don't know if you give Rayla a dummy or not, but I've given her a dummy because she's been crying.’ I said: ‘That's fine,’ and on the front of the dummy was a wee elephant. You know, and I just thought, ‘that's my sign. My mom's here, and she's okay.’

Louise admitted that at the time - and even now - she felt like she was “just existing.”

“It's still here,” she continued. “You know, you laugh all day. You carry on. You cry all night. You feel guilty for living. You feel guilty for telling jokes, laughing, and being involved in parties.

“At the time, you're on your own. There's a four-month-old baby. The person that you want to talk to is no longer there. The person who you want to give you a hug, to tell you everything's going to be okay, is no longer there.

“That could be your partner or your mum. But when the two of them go on, you're left standing, going ‘what do I do? Who do I turn to? Who do I talk to?’

“You're left talking to a four-month-old baby. Crying in the middle of the night somewhere? Sometimes I didn't sleep. I walked the floors.

“But then that's not fair on Rioghnach. I still have to live a life for her. She's fantastic. She's my everything. I exist for her.”

Louise and Rioghnach, now 10, visit Buncrana pier occasionally and place a Derry City scarf there to remember.

“I just feel guilty for going away, for being away," Louise said. "Because I didn’t go, it might not have happened if I had been there. Then you have to stop and tell yourself that what's happened has happened and you can't change it.”

Louise says that the anniversary next month will be “a new chapter.”

Supported by a dedicated team, she is marking the 10th anniversary by celebrating the lives of those she lost.

A series of events will take place, beginning with a 5K walk in Buncrana on Sunday, March 22 at 11am, followed by a Gala Ball at the Ebrington Hotel in Derry on Friday, May 8 - Louise’s late mother’s birthday. All proceeds will go to the RNLI and the fundraiser can be found online at Crowdfunder ‘In Memory of the Buncrana Pier Tragedy March 2016’.

“It's a walk,” Louise said. “It's going to start at the park where they were last playing, where they were last having fun, and it's going to go over towards the RNLI station.

“The RNLI men are going to have the boat and let people see what they're actually doing. The money that I raise is going towards the RNLI. It’s a new chapter. I want to celebrate their life."