Derry woman who found her long lost father after 36 years tells her story

Derry woman, Wendy O'Hagan,  appeared on the ITV show Long Lost Family back in 2013 in a bid to track down her birth father. 

Growing up in Northern Ireland in the late seventies, Wendy O’Hagan was seven before she learned about her birth father.

Her mother had fallen in love with American serviceman Grant Williams but he was suspected of being a Republican sympathiser and was eventually deported.

The programme tracked down Grant in America and reunited the father and daughter.

Nearly a decade on, Wendy and her father appeared on the follow up ITV Show, Long Lost Family: What happened next?

In the show, Wendy's daddy Grant returned to Derry to spend more time with his daughter nearly a decade after Long Lost Family first tracked him down. 

Speaking about her experience, Wendy said: "After 36 years of whats and whys, I had taken the plunge to find my father.

"At the time I thought it would be impossible, that it was never going to happen. But, with the help and support of all my family and friends, I didn't give up .

"This journey with Long Lost Family has given me a relationship with my Dad. We have learnt so much about each other and finally answered all the questions we both have had for 36 years.

"I've had people contact me since the show who are in similar situations now looking for their own children and parents. It's amazing; that is what it is all about."

Wendy confessed she doesn't usually watch TV but had caught a glimpse of Long Lost Family when she was in London and it brought her to tears.

"I couldn't stop crying after seeing the show," Wendy explained. "I emailed the show straight away but the email didn't go through. 

"Then we went on holiday literally that week and we met a couple on holiday. On the last day of the holiday we were all talking and the gentleman told us that he was on Long Lost Family; he met his mother and father through the show.

"Obviously my initial reaction was 'Oh my God, I contacted the show last week.' This fella said to me, 'Do it.' So when we got home, I contacted Long Lost Family straight away and they rang me the next day."

Long Lost Family then began to look for Wendy's father and they found him. It turned out that Wendy's father was actually looking for her, too.

Wendy continued: "My name isn't Wendy, you see, my name is Keila. So, I was born and registered as Keila but my name known to everyone is Wendy. I was only known as Keila for a couple of days.

"My passport and everything is Keila and my daddy did try to track me down. He had tried to contact the chapel and the chapel basically said to him, 'Grant, we don't have a Wendy O'Hagan, maybe she's been given up for adoption or she has passed away.' This was all through the church in America."

Grant continued to look for his daughter despite his fear of the repercussions after his deportation.

However, when Wendy was twelve years old, a priest told Grant to give up and live in the hope that one day Wendy would come and find her father if she was out there.

The years went on and Grant remarried. His new wife, Sherry, and Grant decided they wanted to try and find Wendy again. But again, the situation back home left Grant fearful.

"He didn't know what was going on back home," Wendy explained. "It is a small town, he could have found me, there are other ways. But, the unknown of what he would have been up against or what it could have brought to our door was not what he wanted.

"As a result, he was extremely cautious due to the fact he loved my mammy. He still has the utmost respect for my mammy; that never changed. 

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"It wasn't out of their doing that they parted. It is very sad. To hear both of their stories, to have confirmation from both of them that I was never a mistake; that was so lovely to hear; although heartbreaking.

"I had two parents that had loved each other. Through me finding my daddy, they both gained closure, but it is hard still. It was hard to watch them uncover and understand what had happened and what went on.

"He was supposed to come back to Dublin to my mammy but he didn't; he was too scared. He decided to pursue his education and career in America. But that is all in the past and this is the now. For me, I have met an amazing man in my father."

Wendy met Grant's new wife and her new family who reside in America. On one of the visits, Wendy was sitting with her father and his wife and Grant said, 'I think it's time.' He then revealed a chest of belongings. 

There were baby shoes, baby photographs- sent from Wendy's mother- a green and white blanket his mother had knitted for Wendy which he had kept in the hopes of giving to his daughter, his mother's ring as well as all the letters Wendy's mother had written to Grant when they were apart that were intercepted by the military. 

Wendy and Grant have built a beautiful relationship over the last ten years

Sadly, Grant has been recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and he wanted to give Wendy the chest while he understood. He said to Wendy, 'Those are yours and I want to guarantee you get them.' 

Grant had kept everything Wendy's mother had ever sent him. He describes Wendy's mother as his 'white angel' as he believes she saved his life, "She was the one, when he was arrested, that stood up for him. He was always grateful for what my mammy did to get him released and he never wanted to disturb the family," Wendy explained.

The mum of two says she has forgiven the past and is so glad that she did the show and tracked him down, "I have closure and understand who my father is, my family background, my DNA; for my two son's, Sevan and Livan." 

Wendy, who already has four siblings here in Derry from her mother, met siblings that have come into her life along with extended family; people she said were so lovely and welcoming.  

Wendy said: "I grew up in a massive family and was so surrounded by love. I said to my daddy, 'I can look at it and say I was hard done by but I wasn't because I had a lot of love around me.'

"The thing that probably stopped me doing it for so long or even wanting to come out and say that I had been looking for him was because I grew up with and was looked after by my mammy's father, Eddy, and my mammy's husband- my father figure- Terry, I had to respect them.

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"Sadly, Terry also has Alzheimer's and has for years, he is in a care home. He wasn't in the show because I can't ask for his permission to be involved; I didn't want to do that to him.

"I also didn't want to disturb my Granny and Granda because I would never want them to think I am not grateful for everything they did for me. I was always cautious. 

"But in the end, my Granny was so pleased. Her words to me were, 'I can be at peace now, knowing that you've met him and you understand the story and he has told you what happened.' In her eyes, she was very protective of me but she needed that."

With Grant's recent diagnosis, the father and daughter are making the most of every second they have together.

They missed out on a lot of time together due to COVID and travel restrictions. However, Wendy and her father spoke every night on the phone. 

Wendy says it is now sad because those precious private moments with her father are now slipping away due to his illness. Grant's wife Sherry now sits with him to help with the conversation. 

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Wendy said: "I never thought the emotional side of it would be as strong or the connection I have with my daddy would be so strong. I was meeting a stranger that cared about me so much. It felt really strange but we have built our relationship.

"I would say to everyone, never wait. If I had waited till now and my daddy had his diagnosis, I would have missed out on all those stories and the last incredible ten years with him; never hold a grudge.

"I was so lucky that my daddy is amazing. The relief I feel to have him in my life; it's like a pain that lifts. 

"I am so grateful. I love knowing that I have this lovely father and he is a great man. I was never rejected and my daddy loves me. It is an amazing feeling.

"I just hope our story will maybe help someone somewhere to take the plunge and never give up on the search for a loved one as it's certainly changed my life."