County Derry woman sets up baby loss foundation

A Kilrea woman has set up a baby loss foundation after suffering her own tragic loss.

Selina Casey's idea for a baby loss foundation originated after she tragically lost her own baby at 18 weeks in 2021.
She felt that families who suffered the loss of a baby vitally need services to turn to so she set up The White Butterfly Foundation.

Selina, a qualified counsellor, was just finishing her counselling training when she found out she was pregnant.
Sadly, during a check-up at around 18 weeks, Selina and her husband were told their baby had no heartbeat and she had to deliver the baby.

Selina described this as a ‘traumatic and horrific experience’.
“As a mother of two I had two healthy pregnancies before. I just assumed something like this couldn’t happen to me,” she said.

“The labour was 12 hours and very difficult. We left the hospital with not much support, guidance or plan on what to do after experiencing this. We were left thinking what happens next.”

Selina said that she was personally very lucky to have the support of her family and friends. Her training in counselling also helped to get her through this sad time. However she couldn’t help thinking of the people who weren’t as fortunate.
“I kept thinking I need to do something positive out of this negative experience. I didn't want to go through this experience alone. Losing a baby can be an isolating experience as it is.

“The idea started after we said goodbye to our little one in 2021. However we were only officially set up around a month ago.”
Selina says she has shared the same grief and connected with many others since starting the foundation.

“I would've never met these people had the tragedy not happened. It is only after my loss that I realised the amount of women going through this and how they are in the same position. I reach a real realisation depth with these women when I work alongside them.

“Often these women can be overlooked. There aren’t many organisations in Northern Ireland that specialise in baby loss. A lot of the UK organisations often don’t work with people from Northern Ireland. We do have some amazing support groups who do great work but I am hoping to integrate the one-to-one work alongside that. I am determined to bring this vision to life, I hope to achieve funding for women who desperately need this service.

“Some women can be overlooked and taken for granted. They often are told things like ‘you can try again’, ‘at least you know you can get pregnant’. Often these comments are said to make a woman feel better but they can cause hurt and have a negative effect on the woman.”

Selina came up with the idea of ‘The Timeless Tile Collection’ as a creative expression activity for women who come to her ‘Just Be’ group sessions. Previous sessions have taken place in Lurgan and Omagh. The sessions were in collaboration with Baby Loss charity, Little Forget Me Nots Trust.

Above: Timeless Tiles 

Selina explained that the charity’s vision is to ‘use our own hands to get out of our own heads’.
“It has seen an amazing response. An idea that started in my house one Saturday evening. I have been collaborating with Laura from Rosegift Studios in Portglenone and Louise from Little Forget Me Nots Trust for about seven months to make this dream a reality,” she said.

Above: The Team at Just Be Cafe 

“Mummies will come along and make a tile for their own baby or for somebody else who has suffered a baby loss. The conversations that happen around the making of those tiles are mind blowing. It really brings them together. It is important for them to connect with others who have been through a similar situation. It is lovely for them to not have to explain and just be. We didn’t have to say what stage of grief we were at unless we wanted to but everyone knew that ‘these people have been through the same as me’.”

Selina recalls an emotional moment from one of the meet ups.
“When we put all the finished tiles together it was very emotive. At that moment one of the mums said ‘imagine if they were all here the noise they would be making’. That was a touching moment for sure.”
The official launch of The White Butterfly Foundation will take place on Baby Loss Awareness Week which takes place from October 9 to 15.

Selina added: “I am currently in the process of planning events for that week when we will head to Stormont and the Guildhall. Hopefully after the official launch we will be able to start seeing parents who have unfortunately suffered baby loss in their lives. To have the political backing to make this happen has been incredible.”

The Stormont event will take place on October 10 and The Guildhall event will take place on October 11. For the Guildhall launch event Selina will be approaching local businesses to get involved.

With her background in Counselling Selina said how her plan is to offer focused psychological support for parents.
“We will be offering support to parents who have lost a baby in pregnacy or after birth. I am hopeful for the future of The White Butterfly Foundation. I believe that those who attend will get a lot of it in turn the foundation will develop through fundraising down the line.”

Just Be Cafe ‘Timeless Tiles Project’ will be coming to Derry city on August 6 and in Portglenone on August 13.

To find out more information on these events visit:

https://littleforgetmenotstrust.com/products/timeless-tile 

You can find The White Butterfly Foundation on Facebook and Instagram.