Derry woman who lost her mother to cancer made sure she was a big part of her wedding day

A Derry woman who got married just over a year after she lost her mum to cancer made sure she was still very much part of her big day.

Eibhlin O’Hagan’s mother Máire Cassidy passed away on October 29, 2015, 11 years after she was first diagnosed with the disease.

Máire was a French teacher at St Mary’s College and was well-known for being full of energy and fun.

When Eibhlin married her graphic designer husband Ciaran O’Hagan last Christmas, she was determined to honour her mother’s memory during the celebrations.

“I had a picture of her in my bouquet and I had a memory tree and lanterns,” she explained.

“She would have been in the thick of it if she had been there. She was just unreal. It’s just so hard. It was such an awful loss.

“She died when I was 27 and she was 60. It wasn’t fair.

“She deserved to have her retirement and travel and enjoy herself and see my brother Tom’s daughter grow up.”

Eibhlin’s father, Tom, gave a speech at the wedding in which he quoted from the Book of Ecclesiastes ‘there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance’.

“He said if she was here she would be doing the singing and dancing,” said Eibhlin.

”I think it is important that even when you are sad you should be joyous when you get the chance.”

Máire was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004, but five years later she was given the all clear and returned to work as a substitute teacher.

However, after she fainted in mass her husband Tom asked her to go to her doctor as he was convinced there was something wrong.

“She thought she just fainted because she didn’t eat breakfast but when he went back the doctors said yes, the cancer was back and had spread to her bones,” explained Eibhlin.

Just a month before she had done a charity sky dive for the Foyle Hospice.

Máire started a tablet form of chemotherapy, but it did not work and she then embarked on intravenous chemo which had a limited success.

She then discovered the cancer had spread to her other breast, but she could not have it removed as this would have meant halting her chemo treatment while she recovered from the operation.

In 2014 Máire suffered a massive heart attack and was admitted to Altnagelvin Hospital where her family were told she had 24 hours to live.

The Cassidys were asked to say their goodbyes and she was moved to the Foyle Hospice to die, but she defied doctors’ expectations and walked out of the hospice within a few weeks.

At this point Máire was told she would have to come off her cancer fighting medication but she and her family refused to give up.

“It was working, so we said you can’t take her off it” said Eibhlin.

“I said ‘if she can still swallow I want her to have it’.”

“She went on to live for another year.

“If we had given up who knows what would have happened.”

The family celebrated a wonderful Christmas at home that year, but when Maire’s father died the following May her condition deteriorated.

By August she was suffering very badly and was readmitted to the Hospice on September 3, 2015 and passed away on October 29.

Eibhlin said that despite her mother’s long illness her death was still a shock.

“Yes, she had cancer but she was so full of energy.

“There were some days she couldn’t get out of bed and weeks she spent in hospital, but there were other times when she seemed grand.

“She died on a Saturday, but she talking right up until the Thursday and right up until the end she wanted to know what the craic was and what I was up to.”

The year Máire died she wanted Eibhlin to take her to the Foyle Hospice Female walk/run and she only persuaded her not to go by promising to run it herself.

Eibhlin has now decided to undertake a huge fundraising effort in her mother’s memory and has joined up with her friend Mairead Fox to co-captain the ‘French Foxes’ for the Cancer Research Relay for Life Legenderry in June.

“I’m doing this raise awareness of how cancer affects the whole family and to let people know its OK not to be OK,” she said.

“When someone is sick you’re allowed to be sad.

“If Cancer Research is able to discover anything that would stop someone having to go through what we went through that would be amazing,”Eibhlin continued.

“Mairead’s mammy Ann is currently suffering from a cancerous tumour but the treatment she has received was developed by cancer Research in Belfast, so they are making a difference.”

The French Foxes are holding a charity Zumbathon at Oakgrove Integrated PS on May 27 and are holding a charity quiz on June 22 upstairs in Sandinos.

“Derry people have been unbelievable offering us raffle prizes and sponsorship,” said Eibhlin.

“And I have to say a special thanks to my husband who designed our logo too.”

This is the first time Derry has ever hosted the relay for life, which is billed as the world’s largest fundraising event.

The relay is being organised by the Legenderry Cancer Research UK Committee, who also organised the ‘Slide On’ weekends in Shipquay Street.

For more information on Legenderry Relay for life event log on to www.relay.cancerresearch.uk.org search Facebook for Legenderry Cancer Research UK or follow them on Twitter @legenderryrelay

You can also contact the organising committee on 07967998136.