Dungiven woman to run first half marathon in memory of her dad

Ann-Marie McShane was just 15 years-old when her father was killed in a devastating road traffic collision.

A respected businessman, Danny McShane was walking along the former A6 road, close to where Derry GAA’s Centre of Excellence now stands, when he was struck by a passing car.

The Maghera native’s injuries were so severe that he passed away.

He was just 35 years-old.

Danny’s sudden and tragic death on March 31 1997 numbed the community of Dungiven where he had made his home with his wife Maggie and children Ann-Marie, Owen, Bernie and Daniel.

Just eight years earlier the McShane family were dealt a devastating blow when Owen, who was born with a physical and mental disability, passed away at the age of six and a half.

LOVING FATHER: Danny pictured with his late son Owen and daughters Ann-Marie and Bernie.

Ann-Marie says her father’s traumatic death left the family with so many unanswered questions.

“One minute daddy was there and the next minute he was gone,” recalled Ann-Marie.

“He was the heart of our house, he protected us, he provided for us, he was our safe place. To lose him at such a young age - daddy was only 35 - I feel we were robbed of him. He was taken off us and it just wasn’t fair. We were very young when it happened and we still have a lot of unanswered questions about daddy’s death, there’s been no closure. Even to this day you really wonder what happened that night. It’s very unfair and it’s definitely added to the trauma. When you get up in the morning, nobody knows what’s around the corner and that was a big lesson for us at such a young age. We never got over daddy’s death.”

Well-known within the construction industry, Danny had provided employment for numerous men in the local area and had secured major contracts in the Waterside area of Derry prior to his death.

In 1993, the family moved into their new home, which Danny had built in the Benedy, on the outskirts of Dungiven.

“Financially he was doing so well for himself,” continued the Dungiven woman.

“He was a really good man, he was a gentleman with a heart of gold who would have done anything for anybody. We didn’t want for anything, he was so good to us.”

WEDDING DAY: Danny and Maggie pictured on their wedding day.

Mum-of-six Ann-Marie, now aged 43, admits she didn’t cope well in the aftermath of her father’s death however the trauma of it all only really caught up with her several years later.

At 18 years-old, Ann-Marie became a mum after giving birth to her daughter Courtney, now aged 25.

“I was a young mammy, I was struggling with my mental health big time, had low moods, panic attacks and nightmares and I was binge eating, I ate my feelings. I was 20 stone at my heaviest and that all stemmed from mental health issues. It was all because I couldn’t get over my daddy’s death and how he was just taken from us. When I thought about my daddy, instead of just dealing with these emotions I pushed them down with food,” she revealed.

“Even now at night I have panic attacks in my sleep. I think Daddy didn't have a bone in his body that wasn’t broken. He had broken his neck, his back, he had holes in his head, it was while traumatic for us to see him like that in the coffin. My younger brother and sister would have been having nightmares when they were younger following daddy’s death but for me it caught up with me down the road.”

For many years Ann-Marie struggled with her mental health and as her weight continued to go up, she became more and more withdrawn. Her grief was compounded even further following the sudden deaths of her younger brother Daniel in 2011 and her mum Maggie in 2015.

It was only when her youngest child Max was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes that Ann-Marie knew she had to make changes.

“I was hitting 40, I was 20 stone and Max was only six at the time and I just thought 'this wain needs me, he’s type 1 diabetic, my family needs me'. I had spent my whole life with this grief consuming me. It really did ruin my life. I didn’t come out of that the same girl. I just thought I’ve let that take enough of my life. My wains suffered because I struggled with my mental health. I owe my older children an apology because I was in survival mode. I wasn’t really there for them.

“When I was approaching my 40th birthday I just thought ‘Ann-Marie, something has to give here, you can’t let that night ruin your life’. Yes, I lost my daddy, but I realised that my life and my wains are important too.”

MUM AND DAUGHTER: Ann-Marie pictured at her heaviest with her daughter Mackenzie.

The turning point for Ann-Marie came when she decided to sell the family home in the Benedy.

“I remember my daddy’s coffin being carried down the stairs in that house and my wee granny, daddy’s mother, lying over the coffin crying. There were just so many bad memories and I decided it was time to sell it. That was the turning point in my life.”

Following this Ann-Marie decided to work on herself. She travelled to Turkey where she underwent gastric sleeve surgery.

“I’ve suffered with depression since my daddy died, all my life. Because it was emotional eating, I would have lost weight and put weight on again, so I went to Turkey and got a gastric sleeve. It wasn’t easy but it was the best thing I ever did. The first couple of years it was very tough. I had to face up to my feelings. I have done a lot of work on myself, not only losing the weight, but the gastric sleeve forced me to do a lot of work emotionally on myself,” she said.

Now ten stone lighter and with a more positive outlook on life, Ann-Marie felt she wanted to do something in memory of her father and to raise funds for charity.

Together with her partner Tom and daughter Mackenzie, they have entered the Waterside Half Marathon as a relay team.

RELAY TEAM: Ann-Marie (centre) pictured with Tom and Mackenzie.

Ahead of the September 7 event, they are raising funds for Life After, a charity which supports people who have lost loved ones in fatal road traffic collisions in the North.

“There was nothing like Life After years ago,” Ann-Marie continued.

“My parents would have been quite old school. Daddy was buried on the Wednesday and I was back to school on the Monday. Daddy had a business and we were just thrown into this survival mode. We were just told ‘you have to get on with it’ and ‘daddy wouldn’t want you to be sad’ or ‘you need to be strong’. We weren’t offered counselling or anything. There was nothing like Life After for us and that’s why the charity does mean so much to me. They help families coping with traumatic and sudden loss of loved ones. I feel that they are the only group really that gives support to families. There’s not many groups like that out there and that's why we want to raise money for them.

“My aunt Rosellen Bond died in a road traffic collision in 1975 and my cousin Patrick Cooke also died in a road traffic collision in 1978. In our family we have had so many tragedies relating to road traffic collisions and I’ve seen the impact it had on my family over the years. That’s why this charity is very close to the family’s heart.”

Inspired by her father, Ann-Marie, despite having never taken part in marathons before, decided she wanted to challenge herself.

“My daddy would have run marathons years ago. Our wee brother Owen was mentally and physically handicapped and daddy would have run marathons in the past to raise funds for Glasvey Special School in Ballykelly. I’ve always wanted to raise money for charity and coming into the New Year 2025 it was a New Year’s resolution. I said to my family that I’d love to do the Waterside Half Marathon in memory of daddy. I looked into the Life After charity and decided on it.”

FAMILY MAN: Danny pictured with Ann-Marie, Bernie and Daniel.

Supported by her family, Ann-Marie began her training with walking before taking part in a Couch to 5K programme. Now she’s training every other day with Tom and Mackenzie by her side.

“I’m a wee bit nervous but I am so proud to be doing this. For somebody that used to be 20 stone to be able to go and actually do this, even as part of the relay team, I’m proud of myself. I just keep remembering I’m doing this for daddy and I’m doing this for this charity. The money I am raising is much needed to help bereaved families. Every step I am doing, I’m doing it for hope and for healing, not only for me and my family but for other families that have lost loved ones in road traffic accidents,” she said.

“We were once in that situation and it’s a shame there wasn’t an organisation like Life After when we were younger. If there had been maybe I wouldn’t have spent my years living in survival mode.

“I still have a lot of healing to do and I still have a lot of hurt but Life After have reached out to me and said ‘we are here for you and your family as well’. It did affect us all. It’s like a roundabout. Mackenzie, who is 20, saw first-hand how this has affected me and I can see in her as well that it’s affected her even though she didn’t know my daddy. She sees and feels the hurt that I feel. All my wains, even though they didn’t meet their granda or were there when he died, have all been affected by this tragedy. It all spiralled from that night in 1997.

“When I look back on my life I realise how much of it I wasted being heavy. I was never happy being heavy and was not in a good place but if I can turn my life around then there is hope out there for others and just know that Life After is there for anyone who is suffering.”

Donations to Anne-Marie's fundraiser for Life After can be made here