As part of World Hospice & Palliative Care Week, in today’s Derry News, local woman Gail Quigley speaks about her late mother, Janet Norris and the help her family received from the Foyle Hospice as her mother battled breast cancer, and the bereavement care they received after her passing.
My brothers Adrian, Alvar and myself will be eternally grateful to the entire team at Foyle Hospice for caring for our late mother Janet Norris.
Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2011 and subsequently diagnosed malignant pleural effusion in January 2015.
This was an extremely emotive time for Mum and our family, as Dad had died only three weeks earlier.
Our father died as a result of chronic heart failure on December 21, 2014, also aged 69 years.
Mum was a truly inspirational lady. She remained exceptionally positive throughout her illness and she was determined to make one final trip to Walt Disney World, Florida in August 2015, following completion of chemotherapy. She often quoted Walt Disney: “If you can dream it, you can do it.”
Our first introduction to Foyle Hospice was when Mrs Annette Gamble (Community Palliative Care Nurse Specialist) visited our home in December 2014 to provide palliative care at home for Dad in the final weeks of his life.
At that time we were so grateful for Annette’s valuable input, not only for ensuring Dad’s comfort, but for providing emotional support for Mum and ourselves. Little did we realise that several months later, Annette would be facilitating palliative care for Mum at home.
Annette kindly invited Mum to attend Foyle Hospice Day Care. To be honest, I was a little apprehensive, but I now realise this was because I found it extremely difficult to accept Mum’s terminal diagnosis.
Thankfully, I put my opinions aside and supported our Mum whole heartedly in her enthusiasm for Day for Day Care. I very quickly realised why she found it so therapeutic, as I too experienced the same comfort and support, as a close family member.
I feel honoured to have met the Day Care Team at Foyle Hospice; the minute Mum and I walked through the doors, we were treated like royalty and were made feel very welcome.
Mum looked forward to Tuesdays, when she would spend several hours in Day Care enjoying reflexology, relaxation techniques, manicures, quizzes and of course the fine dining. She always advised me not to cook dinner for her on Tuesday evenings, as she had been dining like a queen at Hospice Day Care. She spoke so fondly of all the staff and other clients with whom she came into contact.
I know every client has a very personal story, but like Mum, I’m sure they were all living with a life-limiting illness.
I was truly inspired by the craic and positivity of these amazing people; they were doing their best to live life to the full, despite their conditions.
It was a very humbling experience. The entire team at Hospice Day Care are evidently highly skilled and experienced in their specialist palliative care nursing and medical roles, but are also exceptional people with very special qualities.
Unfortunately, Mum’s condition deteriorated and she was admitted to the Foyle Hospice inpatient unit on Friday, May 13, 2016.
Mum, my brothers and I were immediately impressed by all the staff’s clinical expertise and compassion. Within a few days of five star luxury at the Hospice, Mum’s condition had improved. Mum felt so relaxed and secure in Foyle Hospice. She and all of us were reassured knowing that all her holistic needs were anticipated and met so efficiently.
We were truly overwhelmed by the genuine compassion and kindness shown by every member of the Hospice team. All team members made such a positive impact on Mum’s life and ours, as Mum courageously battled terminal cancer.
As a daughter and a Critical Care Nurse, I was always made to feel so welcome. Mum and I both sincerely appreciated the staff allowing me the privilege to be able to assist Mum with personal care during her time in Hospice. This meant so much to both of us, as we knew time was very precious. I was extremely grateful and respectful to the nursing and medical staff for allowing me to remain present during the daily clinical ward rounds. My numerous questions were answered honestly, yet with extreme sensitivity and patience; this certainly helped me come to terms with Mum’s terminal diagnosis. The staff all recognised when I was finding the situation difficult and provided emotional support when I needed it most.
Thankfully, with the care and clinical expertise of the entire Hospice team, Mum’s condition was optimised and she was fit to be discharged home on June 21, 2016. In retrospect, the weeks that followed were a real blessing. We made the most of our family time together. We visited many coffee shops, restaurants and wool shops, as Mum had reignited her love of knitting. We had special trips to the seaside, with fish suppers and 99’s too of course!
Mum loved going to Church, so we managed that too until exactly two weeks before she died. She put a brave face on for everyone and was so determined; she didn’t want to give up her fight, despite her increasing frailty.
I was privileged to be able to care for Mum at home during her final months, but I will be eternally grateful to the Hospice team for supporting Mum, my brothers and myself during that time.
Annette Gamble once again was our lifeline while Mum was at home. Annette provided a seamless service, bridging the gap between Hospice and home.
We all knew it was Mum’s wish to spend her final days in Foyle Hospice. My brothers and I were very supportive of this decision; like Mum, we were fortunate to have experienced the compassion and kindness of the Hospice team. We always appreciated the pressure for beds in Foyle Hospice, thus we were most grateful when a bed became available for Mum, exactly when she needed it.
Mum was readmitted to Foyle Hospice on Wednesday, August 3, 2016.
I recall the anxiety of the ambulance journey, worrying if Mum would remain stable. Once we arrived in the Hospice, I felt an overwhelming sense of calm. When we saw Mum again in her room, she too seemed brighter. She was sitting up in bed smiling as she looked out the window and admired the beautiful views of River Foyle and Bridge.
She said: “This is a beautiful place; I must have the best room in the house!” She was delighted to see Lisa again offering her lunch. She was so fond of all team members. At the time, I didn’t quite believe that those conversations with Mum that afternoon, would be our last together.
She became increasingly more peaceful.
I felt reassured that Mum was being continually assessed, care provided and medication administered as Mum needed it. I knew medication could not be administered in such a timely manner at home.
Hospice staff all appeared so highly skilled and confident, yet relaxed in their work; this instilled great confidence in us, as family members.
The staff anticipated our needs as a family too and provided exceptional support for us, throughout our time at the Hospice.
It was at this time that Michelle Koskey, Healing Hearts Children’s Bereavement Facilitator, introduced herself and offered specialist advice and support for us in supporting our children during Mum’s final weeks of life.
Mum passed away peacefully in Foyle Hospice on Sunday, August 7, 2016.
We all desperately miss Mum, yet gain comfort knowing she is now with our Dad. We also feel truly blessed to have had such devoted, loving parents.
The Hospice Care didn’t end when Mum passed; they offered bereavement care to our family members through the adult Forget-Me-Not bereavement support group.
Our nine-year-old daughter availed of the Healing Hearts Service; one to one individualised children’s bereavement support facilitated by Michelle Koskey.
She very quickly established a great rapport with Michelle and looked forward to her appointments. She really enjoyed making memory boxes, drawing and painting, while talking openly to Michelle about her feelings.
She also made a memory bear ‘Unicorn’ from specially chosen items of her Granny Janet’s clothing.
The Healing Hearts service definitely proved therapeutic in easing our daughter’s pain and immense loss.
It also encouraged my husband and I to talk more openly with both of our children during that difficult time; remembering Mum as a devoted Mum and Granny; a fun-loving, truly inspirational lady!
As a family, we will be forever indebted to the Hospice staff for their genuine kindness and support throughout mum’s courageous battle with terminal cancer, but especially for ensuring Mum’s final days were peaceful and dignified.
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